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NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITIES:
Everyone has some degree of narcissistic traits. A normal amount of narcissism helps us take pride in our accomplishments and find joy in our personal lives. Most teenagers display narcissistic qualities as a normal and healthy part of their development and personal growth.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) isn’t the same as self-confidence or being self-absorbed. It’s a mental wellness condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, have troubled relationships, and lack empathy for others.
People who struggle with NPD hide behind a smoke screen of extreme confidence—hiding a fragile self-esteem that is vulnerable to the slightest criticism. This fragile self-esteem is generally caused by significant childhood trauma, genetics, neurobiology, or neglectful parenting styles.
NPD causes problems in many areas of life such as relationships, work, school, or financial affairs. People with NPD can be generally unhappy and disappointed when they’re not given special favor or admiration. They often find their relationships unfulfilling.
If you know someone with NPD, you probably don’t enjoy being around them.
NPD affects approximately 1 in 200 people in America and is prevalent in more males than females. It often begins in the adolescent years or early adulthood.
POP QUIZ:
- Do you lack empathy?
- Do you think you are right about everything?
- Do you ever offer a verbal apology when you have wronged someone?
- Do you have awareness that you have hurt someone’s feelings?
- Do you have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and expect special favors?
- Do you lack long term friends—and just have acquaintances who trash talk with you?
- Do you pick on your mate—or others—constantly?
- Do you knock your mate—or others—down with insults, or make jokes about them that are not that funny?
- Do you try to destroy your mate—or another’s—self-esteem?
- Do you “gas-light” people—spew blatant lies—falsely accuse—spin the truth?
- Do you dance around defining the relationship you are in?
- Do you have a sense of entitlement and require constant admiration?
- Do you expect to be recognized as superior?
- Do you exaggerate achievements and talents?
- Are you preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty, or that you are the perfect mate?
- Do you believe you are superior and can only associate with equally special people?
- Do you monopolize conversations?
- Do you belittle—or look down on—people you perceive as inferior?
- Do you expect unquestioning compliance with your expectations?
- Do you take advantage of others to get what you want?
- Do you have an inability—or unwillingness—to recognize the needs and feelings of others?
- Are you envious of others and believe others envy you?
- Do you behave in an arrogant or condescending manner?
- Do you come across as conceited, boastful, and pretentious?
- Do you insist on having the best of everything?
- Do you have trouble handling criticism and are easily offended?
- Are you impatient or angry when you don’t receive special treatment?
- Do you have significant interpersonal problems?
- Do you react with rage or contempt?
- Do you have difficulty regulating your emotions and behaviors?
- Do you experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change?
- Do you feel depressed and moody because you fall short of perfection?
- Do you have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability, and humiliation?
- Are you charming when you first begin a relationship—and then does your charm stop?
- When rejected (especially by your mate or ex-mate), do you make harassing calls, texts and emails?
NPD frequently occurs along with other mental health conditions including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, and substance use disorder. In fact, most people with NPD seek treatment for these issues versus a narcissistic personality. People with NPD generally don’t want to think that they are wrong—as such, many are unlikely to seek counseling.
In a counseling session, we can recognize a person with NPD because they generally show difficulty in having fair, two-way conversations. They respond to treatment by being easily insulted which makes it difficult for them to accept—and follow through— with treatment. People with NPD—especially those who have a grandiose personality—may also have co-occurring issues (paranoia, antisocial, histrionic, borderline, and schizotypal personality disorders).
Here’s the good news: If we can develop a treatment relationship where we have fair, two-way talk therapy—where we can develop self-awareness—and if there is a desire to change behaviors and develop empathy—these are the first steps in learning how to regulate emotions and cope with NPD.
Here’s The Good News!
If we can develop a treatment relationship where we have fair, two-way talk therapy—where we can develop self-awareness—and if there is a desire to change behaviors and develop empathy—these are the first steps in learning how to regulate emotions and cope with NPD.
Message Jim for a Free Consultation at
(760) 212-0444